BFE, Ohio – Not-so-prominent blogger and newspaper hack JohnFNWayne, a known terrorist according to Janet Napolitano and the Department of Homeland Security, has gone missing. FNWayne, whose name, a somewhat unsophisticated, blunt, garrulous and obscene pseudonym and take on former movie star John Wayne, was last spotted in a retail outlet in Western Ohio before being reported as missing by authorities.
“We don’t know where in the hell he is,” said one anonymous source.
FNWayne was last scene stocking up on what he called an “orgy” of junk foods, carbonated and alcoholic beverages. Locals should not approach FNWayne. Do not taunt JohnFNWayne. JohnFNWayne is illegal in 48 states.
Associated Press writer Ron Fournier contributed to this article.
I broke this addiction years ago man. . . I can quit any time. . . So that’s the new one huh? I’ll be right back.
This is why I don’t allow my husband to play his PS2. I couldn’t get him away from it so…..it was carefully detached from the TV and put away.
I can understand that.
That Ron Fournier at it again!
“JohnFNWayne is illegal in 48 states.”
So according to the prez, JohnFN is legal in 9 states?
He should be considered armed and dangerous…all of those Pringles cans
Mr.EPluribus set to go missing for a while, too. Thanks for the heads-up, Mr. Fournier!