THE PIANO PLAYER
A ragged, old, derelict shuffled into a down and dirty bar. Stinking of wine and cigarettes, his hands shook as he took the “Piano Player Wanted” sign from the window and handed it to the bartender.
“I’d like to apply for the job,” he said. “I was once a AH-1 Cobra and Huey driver and a CW4 in the Air Cav, but when they retired those good old birds, they cashiered me as well. So I learned to play the piano on the GI Bill.”
The barkeep wasn’t too sure about this rather doubtful looking old guy, but it had been quite a while since he had a piano player and business was falling off. So, the barkeep decided to give him a try and said, “OK give me a sample of your playing.”
The old aviator staggered his way over to the piano while several patrons snickered. By the time he was into his third bar of music, every voice was silenced.
What followed was a rhapsody of sound and music, unlike anyone had heard in the bar before. When he finished there wasn’t a dry eye in the place.
The bartender took the stooped old aviator a glass of cheap wine and asked him the name of the song he had just played.
It’s called, “Drop your Skivvies, Baby, I’m Going Balls To The Wall For You!” he said, after he took a drink from the wine glass. “And I wrote it myself,” he said.
The bartender and the crowd winced at the title, but the piano player then played on with a knee-slapping, hand-clapping bit of ragtime that had the place jumping. After he finished that tune, the aviator acknowledged the applause and told the crowd the song was called, “Big Boobs Make My Turbine Engine Scream.” He then excused himself as he stumbled and lurched to the head.
When he came out the bartender went over to him and said, “Look, the job is yours, but do you know your fly is open and your pecker is hanging out?”
“Know it?” the old aviator replied, “Hell, I wrote it!”
*snerk* Crystal ball?
Funny!