3. Any woman who has rejected my advances must, ipso facto, not be straight.
4. I have worked as a fry cook. I can break down, clean and refill an industrial fryer in 20 minutes flat.
5. And when I do it’s usually something unusual.
6. And he did not go for the ol’ hole in the bottom of the popcorn box trick.
7. Wrong, Bill Paxton playing Chet in “Weird Science” is the greatest acting performance in history.
8. Make sure you pronounce that properly. It’s “oat-ez.”
9. (Even though this list is not funny in the least, I may have laughed out loud when I read this one.)
10. It’s “Rufus Tiberius Firefly, Esquire,” and I even dot the “i’s.”