When Allah takes over, the black dogs gotta go. Bad, bad dogs, those black dogs. Muhammed says so. Geckos, salamanders, snakes are all reptilia non grata under the new regime as well. On the plus side, we’ll have more apes and pigs (but sadly, not more bacon, for obvious reasons), because bad Muslims will be turned into same. And, as everybody knows, Jews have already been turned into pigs, apes, rats and lizards. (Gives new meaning to the term Kosher meat, don’t it?)
I’m OK with getting rid of the Geico gecko, whose visa should have been revoked about six months ago, but the rest of the hit list seems a tad extreme. What is the deal with fundamentalist Muslims and dogs? It’s a dog, for Christ’s sake, the very epitome of unconditional love. If we catch bin Laden, first thing to do is to strap him to a chair, pry his eyelids open a la “A Clockwork Orange” and make him watch “Old Yeller” for two weeks straight. (Second thing we do is to strip him, paint his bony ass purple and dump him in the middle of Harlem with “KKK” tatooed across his chest).
True story: when yours truly was doing some contract work at a refinery in the lovely Saudia Arabian resort town of Yanbu – and by resort town, I of course mean God-forsaken s**thole – an American woman, living on the American compound, was arrested for walking her Scotch terrier on a public street. It seems that the authorities decided that the terrier’s beard was insulting to the beards of Muslims. This lead my brother to conclude that “if your religion CAN be made fun of by a dog, you might want to rethink your religion.”
They even get NEAR my lab and it’s “Say hello to my little ‘insurance policy!”
“… and by resort town, I of course mean God-forsaken s**thole …”
I applaud you.
And I too have a lab. Yellow. The dog is dangerous. If you’re laying on the couch for 10 minutes, it will probably be on top of you within 3, smothering you with affection.
Kenn and John – Two collies live in the trzupr household. Both are tremendous pains in the ass, and I couldn’t be more fond of them. (And their reactions to an intruder would be more in line with John’s buddies than Kenn’s, for the record).
I’m a cat person, myself. Infidels.
Don’t forget, dog spelled backwards is allah.
Last time over there was a military working dog and its handler that worked out of our CP. The dog was black and the handler told us that almost all Iraqis were scared to death of that dog. We were also told that they consider dogs “unclean”.
The dog by the way was trained in explosives exploitation (that means finding bombs) and was a Lab/Shepard mix. The sweetest dog you’d ever want to meet, until he went into attack mode. It was interesting to watch the change that came over the soldiers when he came into the TOC…it was like a load had been lifted and they were all kids again. For some reason the young ladies went especially nuts over him.
Oh, well just my 2 cents.
Just to clarify: the only way my dog would attack you is to lick your face until you couldn’t take it any more! Hmmm – maybe I should contact the CIA.
My “insurance policy” would be my AR-15 – if it ever gets here.
I had a beautiful black Labrador named Champion who was not only my Dad’s best buddy and my best buddy he was also not a dog to mess with as in if he didn’t know you and you inadverdently decided to try and pet him while he was sticking his head out of the back seat window he would take your hand off. He also hated my ex fiance. In retrospect I understand. Black Dog has more sense than 22 year old girl. I got that.
But he would have defended us to the death and if anyone had done anything to him they would have been met with more than just a bitch slap. Same thing with my Golden Retriever. Buford’s biggest glitch is he loves too much. He is also beautiful. His vet goes on and on about what a wonderful example of the breed he is. And if anyone ever went near him they would be met with the mistress of the house and a 12 guage shotgun. Leave my dog alone…..and anyone whose religion thinks dogs are bad has serious issues. Truly.
“Leave my dog alone…..and anyone whose religion thinks dogs are bad has serious issues. Truly.”
Amen!
I have a cat myself, but I dogs too. My daughter and her husband have a beautiful black lab who is the sweetest most friendly dog in the universe. She’s nicer than most people (and all Saudis) that I know.