“Telling jokes was playing with fire,” says Kleemann. The Stasi had… employees and a network of civil informants… It regarded every political joke as a potential threat. Anyone who poked fun at the representatives of the organs of state and society was subject to prosecution.”

Thank Gaiea we live in a country where people can question the political regime without fear of prosecution from organs of the state!

There was a 10 year waiting list to get a car in the Soviet Union and Vlad was finally in line to get his. So Vlad files his official request with the Bureau of Automobiles and the clerk tells him;

“Okay in ten years you come back and pick up vehicle.”

“Okay” says Vlad “Morning or night?”

Puzzled the clerk says “It is 10 years from now what does it matter.”

Vlad replies “Well, the plumber is coming in the morning.”

“Is it the food?” asked the commissar.

“Impossible, Comrade! We have the best chefs in Russia, all trained at the Cordon Bleu.”

“Is it the music?”
“Impossible, Comrade! We have the finest musicians in Russia, many of whom studied in the west with jazz legends who are fellow travelers.”

“Could it be the girls?”
“Impossible, Comrade! All our girls have been faithful party members for at least thirty years!”

This one may have a certain ironic currency soon.

The Taliban commander quickly sends 10 of his best soldiers over the dune whereupon a gun-battle breaks out and continues for a few minutes, then silence.

The voice then calls out “One Texan is better than one hundred Taliban”.

Furious, the Taliban commander sends his next best 100 troops over the dune and instantly a huge gunfight commences. After 10 minutes of battle, again silence.

The Texan voice calls out again “One Texan is better than one thousand Taliban”.

The enraged Taliban Commander musters one thousand fighters and sends them across the dune. Cannon, rocket and machine gun fire ring out as a huge battle is fought. Then silence.

Eventually one wounded Taliban fighter crawls back over the dune and with his dying words tells his commander, “Don’t send any more men, its a trap. There’s actually two of them.”