Since this seems to be a popular theme today…
As readers of my soon-to-be-awarding-winning series (assuming Floyd has sent in the application to the Pulitzer Prize Committee – AS HE PROMISED) “Consensus or Con Job” are aware, water vapor is a far more powerful global warming gas than is carbon dioxide. Ergo, a concerned citizen like Fat Bastard is truly doing his part to save the planet, er – sorry, SAVE THE PLANET!!!!!
Floyd Here: Oh! I thought you said “Putzer” Prize…. I figured you already had that in the bag.
To wit:
Let’s assume that Fat Bastard spins the dial at about four bills. That’s probably low, but good enough for government work. Men are about 70% water. (Chicks, by the by, are about 60% water, which is why we can generally get them drunk and take advantage of them quicker). (Not that I have ever done so). (Ever). Anyway. So that means that FB is storing about 280 lbs of water. Since water is about 40 times stronger a global warming gas than carbon dioxide, he is effectively preventing the global warming effect of over 5 tons of carbon dioxide, while all those self-centered earth-haters are jogging and riding their bicycles, sweating and dumping more deadly water vapor into the air.
Put another way, if every man, woman and child in the United States put on – say – 100 pounds each, that would effectively sequester the water equivalent of 390 million tons of carbon dioxide. So dear readers, head down to Mickey D’s, slam back a few quarter pounders and – this is very important – avoid exercise at all costs. It’s all part of going green.
On a more serious note, allow me to add to Rufus very clever (and very correct) observations below. Efficiency is good for the environment, as well as being good for people. An easy way to measure productivity, of course, is by looking at a nation’s GDP. When you compare GDP to carbon dioxide emissions you can get a pretty good estimate of environmental efficiency. When you look at it that way, the USofA is about 3 times more environmentally efficient than China. But what will be the net effect of Crap and Trade? To send even more production to China, which is less environmentally efficient and thus, whatever reductions would result from Crap and Trade will be more than offset by increased emissions from China (and India).
I am not the first person to make this observation, but it can not be repeated enough.
Print
Digg
StumbleUpon
del.icio.us
Facebook
Yahoo! Buzz
Twitter
Google Bookmarks
Google Buzz
LinkedIn
MSN Reporter
MySpace
Orkut
Ping.fm
Reddit
RSS
Slashdot
Technorati
Tumblr
Webnews.de
Speaking of emissions, doesn’t Fat Bastard’s flatulence damage offset the pluses of his water retention? Ever the vulgarian, that’s me.
Can’t really avoid vulgarity when you start out with a Fat Bastard picture.
Anyway, Mr. Wise-Ass, methane’s power to destroy the planet is about 21 times that of carbon dioxide, or roughly half that of water vapor. So, even if he’s more gassy than my collies – which I don’t believe is even possible – we’re still on the plus side. However, you do have a point. If everybody would use Beano, we’d SAVE THE PLANET!!!! too. I wonder if the Beano people have figured this out yet?
I’d say he (Fat Bastard) did bag Heather Graham… but that doesn’t seem that difficult — though it probably is also bad for the environment.
Mike Vick, Henry Ford, Fat Bastard, Al Gore…one of these things is not like the other.
Although on second thought Gore is both fat and a bastard.
Along similar lines;
What does Al Gore and his minions claim to hate? CO2. What do trees inhale? CO2. What do trees do with that CO2? Make trees, er wood, er lumber. So the more trees we have the more wood we have the more CO2 tied up in molecules that are not in the atmosphere. Perfessor Gore says atmospheric CO2 makes the thermostat rise and then polar bears float to their deaths on ever diminishing chunks of ice, and that makes Oprah cry.
So trees are good! Wait amount, Rufus? Isn’t that exactly what those crazy, tree huggers tell us? Well, yes. Tree huggers do like trees, but you know what they don’t tell you?
To use round numbers, let’s say it takes 10 square meters of forest floor and ten years to turn an acorn into an oak tree 10 meters tall. We all know mature trees grow slower. What else happens to mature trees? They die. And what happens to dead trees? They often catch fire and that releases all that bad, evil CO2 right back into the atmosphere.
What happens when you chop down that oak and make a deck or adirondock chair out of it? The CO2 stays trapped in the wood and the polar bears and Oprah are happy! Yeah chair! And, if you are in the business of making money selling Adirondock chairs to Oprah what will you do after you chop that oak tree down? Plant another acorn so you’ll have more wood in ten years.
Yes, kids. True believers in CO2 induced global warming are huge advocates of clearing and replanting forests and turning the cleared wood into lumber. Old growth forests often catch fire and wild fires release incredible amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere. Forests managed by lumber mills are an environmentalists dream.
The next time you meet someone who claims to be concerned about global warming ask them what they are doing to ensure lumber companies have more access to old growth forests. If they don’t know what you are talking about you know they either don’t believe what they are saying, or they are a fool.
I don’t know what yall are drinking, but I am enjoying the series.
My really cool but lefty brother in law and wife are coming. I wonder what they’d make of all this. I probably won’t show them it though, as I said, I really do like them. They’re good people for all their politics.
Well, I don’t know what everyone else is drinking, but I have had Fat Bastard’s wine and it’s not bad:
http://www.fatbastardwine.com/our-wines.php