I chop down trees, I skip and jump, I love to press wild flowers.
What does Al Gore and his minions claim to hate? CO2. What do trees inhale? CO2. What do trees do with that CO2? Make trees, er wood, er lumber. So the more trees we have the more wood we have the more CO2 tied up in molecules that are not in the atmosphere. Perfessor Gore says atmospheric CO2 makes the thermostat rise and then polar bears float to their deaths on ever diminishing chunks of ice, and that makes Oprah cry.
So trees are good! Wait a minute, Rufus? Isn’t that exactly what Al Gore and those crazy, tree huggers tell us? Well, yes. Tree huggers do like trees, but you know what they don’t tell you?
To use round numbers, let’s say it takes 10 square meters of forest floor and ten years to turn an acorn into an oak tree 10 meters tall. We all know mature trees grow slower. What else happens to mature trees? They die. And what happens to dead trees? They often catch fire and that releases all that bad, evil CO2 right back into the atmosphere.
What happens when you chop down that oak and make a deck or adirondack chair out of it? The CO2 stays trapped in the wood and the polar bears and Oprah are happy! Yeah chair! And, if you are in the business of making money selling Adirondack chairs to Oprah what will you do after you chop that oak tree down? Plant another acorn so you’ll have more wood in ten years.
Yes, kids. True believers in CO2 induced global warming are huge advocates of clearing and replanting forests and turning the cleared wood into lumber. Old growth forests often catch fire and wild fires release incredible amounts of CO2 into the atmosphere. Forests managed by lumber mills are an environmentalist’s dream.
The next time you meet someone who claims to be concerned about global warming ask them what they are doing to ensure lumber companies have more access to old growth forests. If they don’t know what you are talking about you know they either don’t believe what they are saying, or they are a fool.
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So true Rufus, so true. Worse, if those dead trees DON’T catch fire, then they release methane (21 times more deadly than CO2) as they decay. So, if the old growth lumber isn’t going to be harvested, then burning it down is the second best solution. Screw Smokey the Bear, that planet-killing bastard.
Old-growth forest arsonists: environmentalists!
Wow! I didn’t know that!
Wow! I’m surprised you stopped gazing at Carol Cleveland long enough to read the whole piece!
Don’t worry Rufus, I’m sure that while Rich was staring at her, he checked out the whole piece.
Methane is 21 times more deadly than CO2, so how deadly is CO2?
A lot less deadly than CO1.
I’m filing a complaint with the shop steward.
If you will review Section 5.2, Paragraph B, sub-section y, footnote iii, of our labor agreement you can update yourself on job descriptions. TO wit:
Floyd: acquiring and posting vomitorium-ready graphics
Rich: general brilliance, bad hair pictures and (emphasis added) CHEMISTRY HUMOR
Rufus: bad puns, recycling old jokes (vintage 1930 or older), offering comfort and support to others suffering with “small feet syndrome”
Stick with the program!
And Paragraph C clearly states there is no sanity clause.
Why don’t you just make CO1 louder and make CO1 be the top number and make that a little louder?
We’ve got armadillos in our trousers. It’s really quite frightening.
CO2 isn’t deadly at all Kit – unless you put a plastic bag over your head till you turn all the oxygen contained therein into CO2. I’m just using a bit of hyperbole to mock the attitude of the enviros.
Methane is deadly in concentrations of 1.4% to 7.1% in air. (14,000 ppm to 71,000 ppm). That’s the range in which, if you were so unwise as to strike a match, you would disappear with a flash and large boom. Something kind of like this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9xCgNdZPKk
Ah-hah! So that’s how Peter “James” Bond spontaneously combusted. I know, without the dusting, just hypothetical.
You can’t dust for vomit.
That’s Connie Booth in that photo. Pretty sure. Even though Carol played that role in concert.
You are right about Connie. I just bing’ed images of both her and Carol. And, for you Threedonians with “y” chromosomes… if you bing images of “Carol Cleveland” there is a shot of her in a wet, green shirt that will make you forget all about pressing flowers.
So Carol — like CO2 makes wood? Thank you. Please tip the waitresses. I’m here all week.
No global warming the day that picture was shot.
Like Floyd – I’m here all week.
Nevertheless, methane can kill. A horrible death.
http://www.abxzone.com/forums/f3/man-dies-his-sleep-breathing-his-8632.html
Always said – I’ll never believe in man-made global warming until I see Al Gore, living naked in a cave. Okay, I really don’t want to SEE it.