What’s a Saturday without a Top Five???

Eric | Saturday, 31st of October 2009 at 10:45:47 AM

Sincerely hope Wankette’s cold hasn’t lingered to the point she’s fallen and she can’t get up … out of bed (or off the floor). Till she makes her glorious return, though, a little somethin’-somethin’ to potentially keep us occupied. Also in honor of the 80s kids who boo-hoo’ed about being too young to appreciate the original A-Team.

TOP FIVE POWER BALLADS

1. Kiss, “Beth” – The granddaddy of the genre and while not my favorite Kiss sung by drummer Peter Criss (that’d be “Hard Luck Woman”), his hushed reassurances that he’ll be off the road soon set the standard for hard rockers bringing it down a notch.

2. Def Leppard, “Bringin’ on the Heartbreak” – Original version or with the slight synth adds for the 1984 re-release, great push and pull with the soft and loud. Despite the band’s endorsement of Mariah Carey’s cover, it does not exist to these ears. Does. Not.

3. Motley Crue, “Home Sweet Home” – After the balls-to-the-wall intensity of their first two albums, gotta admit I never saw this one comin’. Still blown away after all these years, too.

4. Ozzy Osbourne & Lita Ford, “Close My Eyes Forever” – The Ozz had a pretty decent track record in this department (“Mama, I’m Comin’ Home,” “Goodbye to Romance” and “Dreamer” among them), but since these power ballads are ultimately about love and longing, who better than the godfather of metal and the gal with similar pipes (and the greatest ripped jeans look) trading verses?

5. (Tie) Anthrax, “Dallabnikufesin” and “Weird Al” Yankovic, “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” – All good (or not-so-good) things must come to an end and Extreme’s “More Than Words” pretty much put the proverbial fork in the hair metal carcass as much as grunge’s Nevermind-led emergence. These two songs great skewerings and also perfect evidence death should sometimes be welcomed.

Honorable Mentions — AC/DC, “Ride On”; Cinderella, “Coming Home,” “Nobody’s Fool” and “Don’t Know What You Got (Till It’s Gone).” That’s right, guess you can call Cinderella my hard rock Hall & Oates albatross. Tom Keifer filled Bon Scott’s shoes better than Brian Johnson ever would and I can live with that bird around my neck.

[I do love when we come together when one of our own goes inexplicably missing.]

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Mr. Sideous

October 31, 2009 at 11:55 AM · Reply

anything outside of the hairspray metal/grown men in makeup and spandex genre?

Eric

October 31, 2009 at 12:56 PM · Reply

Def Leppard? Anthrax? Al?

Outlaw13

October 31, 2009 at 12:54 PM · Reply

I can’t resist any chance to pimp my fav under-appreciated band, The Tubes.

Don’t Want To Wait Anymore

Eric

October 31, 2009 at 12:57 PM · Reply

Loved their stuff on the Xanadu soundtrack.

Fee Waybill, great in Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure.
- Outlaw13
  
  October 31, 2009 at 1:40 PM · Reply
  
  Never seen Xanadu. I did have a major thing for Olivia Newton John back in the day though.

justjack

October 31, 2009 at 1:14 PM · Reply

Yeah, Beth’s a good one. “jest a few mo’ hours……” Sweet!

Except for the Bon Jovi entry, I guess my picks definitely fall outside of the spandex/hairband genre:

Meatloaf Two Out Of Three Ain’t Bad: See, it’s an epic tale, because the things he’s saying to her, was said to him by another girl before, who broke his heart. Dewd, it’s awesome.

Carpenters Goodbye To Love: Yes, the Carpenters. But that fuzz guitar definitely makes this power ballad. In fact, Richard Carpenter claims that he was the guy who invented the entire genre, thanks to this track. Whatever.

Bon Jovi Wanted Dead Or Alive: He’s a cowboy. On a steel horse he rides. Not only that, he’s seen a million faces, and he’s rocked them all.

Raspberries Let’s Pretend: Brian Wilson-styled yearning wedded to Paul McCartney-inspired screaming.

Alice Cooper Only Women Bleed: Jeez, maybe I shoulda listed this on the wknd5 most embarrassing faves. What can I do, expect own my chagrin.

Honorable Mention:

Dennis Wilson End Of The Show: The last track from his first (and only fully-completed) solo album, it’s deep and dark and big, and Dennis’ final whisky-voiced wail “it’s ohhhhhhhh-vuh!” never fails to choke me up. He died six years later, from too much rock ‘n’ roll. But hearing this song, you already knew how it was going to end for Denny.