Speaking of Robin Hood

(Which we were). Modern, merry old England is suffering from a temporary shortage of green-tight clad bowmen. Not to worry, Father Tim Jones of St. Lawrence Anglican Church in York has the answer: redistribute the wealth yourself. What would Jesus do? Shoplift! Makes a lot of sense, cutting out the middle-man and all, but why this would be necessary in a nation that has been run by nanny-state liberals for so many years is beyond my understanding. Why should there be any poor people in a socialist paradise?

To be fair, Jones said there are limits to this new policy:

“I would ask that they do not steal from small family businesses, but from large national businesses — knowing that the costs are ultimately passed on to the rest of us in the form of higher prices.”

Dandy. I understand that economics 101 is probably not taught in the seminary, but let’s consider what would happen if everyone took the Reverend Jones’ sage advice to selectively blow off the Eighth Commandment, based on a retailer’s gross revenues:

1) Shoplifting increases in the big stores, so

2) The big stores raise their prices, which

3) Leads people to shop at smaller stores, who haven’t been so affected, therefore

4) The big stores will eventually go out of business, because they can’t compete, and

5) This will put more people out of work and create even more poor people.

It’s brilliant! Positively brilliant I tell you!

First Dr. Phil Jones. Now Tim Jones. Is everyone with that last name in the UK a raving moonbat? Next we’ll find out that Davy Jones worships porcelain serving dishes or something.

An Anglican clergyman telling his flock to to forth and shoplift. Sheesh. I hope the Archbishop of Canterbury hammers this clown. And hard. Of possibly Terry Jones playing The Bishop – either would do.

Share on Facebook