O.K., I’ll go first…
There was a Polack with a Big Journalism by-line,
Who longed to be global warming debunking’s Mark Steyn.
When working a deadline for the late edition,
He was unable to re-fill his viagra prescription,
T’hat’s when his wife learned he’d been hiding the decline.
McFloyd O’Turbo’s turn:
A West Texas Professor who was at home on the range,
Went to California after years improving his brain.
He could pontificate like Webster on contra proferentem’s
Yet, his colleagues still thought of him as a legal Sam Clemens,
‘Cause when he lectured he spoke with a mark’ed Twang.
Now O’JohnMcFN:
JohnFNWayne, an intelligent guy,
Thought he’d give College a try.
He dreamed of large compensation,
When completing his education,
But sadly he majored in Poli Sci.
And Kriskey:
A pure Irishman name o’ Michael O’Kriskey
Combined hobbies that made Tuesdays rather risky.
At his cricket match his team would exclaim,
Mike could be the best in town at this game,
If he could only throw darts like he throws down rye whiskey.
Wankette:
Wankette, a Threedonia blogger par excellence,
Taught Film and English to les terribles enfants.
Though mature in their age,
They oft sent her to rage,
For they only parrot Obama’s talking points.
E.P.
Eric Porvaznik, an internet DJ and nice guy,
Landed an interview that ultimately made him cry.
It’s true, Joe Pa is a great coach,
With ethics beyond all reproach,
But Penn’s ACT scores are still below the Illini.
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Viagra…otherwise known as “Rufus’ Popcorn”.WHOOP!
Sigh… must I sink to this level? I suppose I must:
Perchance on the internet should you happen to meet
A fellow named Rufus who’s full of bull sheet
Pay him no mind
And please be kind
For he suffers the curse of tiny little feet
McTrzupr,
Sink?! Rise! You know Stosh is going to memorize this limerick and repeat it often, in mixed company.
O’Firefly,
At his age, Stosh can barely remember where he lives, much less memorize marginal poetry!
Rich… unfortunately this baby picture of Rufus disproves your limerick… funny though it is:
My mom suffers from carpal tunnel to this day, from knitting my baby booties.
“tiny little feet”? You know what he’s really implying…
JohnFNWayne, an intelligent guy,
Thought he’d give College a try.
He dreamed of large compensation,
From completing his education,
But sadly he majored in Poli Sci.
Lim’rick was built by a Viking
Who found the spot one day while hiking.
He said, “If I’d guessed
“What they’d do here in jest,
“I’d have taken a dump and gone biking.”
O’Floyd McTurbo’s turn:
A West Texas Professor who was at home on the range,
Went to California after years improving his brain.
He could pontificate like Webster on contra proferentem’s
Yet, his colleagues still thought of him as a legal Sam Clemens,
‘Cause when he lectured he spoke with a mark’ed Twang.
Erich McVaznik has a go at it…
There once was a feller named Mike (or Mike!)
A court-less Connecticut Yank, must ride bikes
’cause he used to join shows
With his book-smarts, ya know
Now calls cost him too much, we’re stuck with this tyke
Snap!
A pure Irishman name o’ Michael O’Kriskey,
Combined hobbies that made Tuesday nights rather risky.
At his cricket match his team would exclaim,
Mike could be the best in town at this game,
If he could only throw darts like he throws down rye whiskey.
I finally thought of a rhyme for Rufus, but now it’ll have to wait for next year.
Wankette, a Threedonia blogger par excellence,
Taught Film and English to les terribles enfants.
Though mature in their age,
They oft sent her to rage,
For they only parrot Obama’s talking points.
Good Lord Rufus, are you even trying anymore? “Excellence”, “infants” and then: “points”??? Turn in your poetic license sir!
Here’s how it’s done:
We’ve got us a blogger named Floyd
Who often makes readers annoyed
This west Texas rube
Is in love with man-boob
And therefore he must be destroyed.
Yeah, I know. If you say it in the native French, “excellence” does rhyme with “enfants,” but “points” isn’t even close. I’m still trying to think of a better word there. “Enfants” was not a typo. There is a common, French idiom, “Les enfants terribles.” That’s what I was rif’fing off of. It’s a nice analogy for College students.
Nice Floyd limerick, by the by.
Rufus is wasting his time
If he honestly thinks he can rhyme
As a blogger it’s true
That the best he can do
Is to write all his posts as a mime
Obama says we need his health care
And don’t worry if it doesn’t seem fair
By the time he’s done
And victory won
We’ll barely be left with bus fare.
We know that Wankette has some ink
Where it might be, one hates to think
The tat she’ll reveal
After a good meal
If you can feed her a stiff drink.
Watch your meter, my good fellow.
Rhyming “Porvaznik” is tough
But dissing him isn’t so rough
For it’s often said
About Eric’s head
That of hair he hasn’t enough
Rich Trzupek, a blogger full of brash boasts,
(just ask him, he’ll tell you he’s the best on both coasts).
Now wows Andrew Breitbart,
With his hockey stick chart,
And re-using old Threedonia posts.
The subject was the same it is true
But the words they were all fresh and new
So to Rufus I say
(As I do every day)
To you and your tiny feet: “screw you!”
Eric Porvaznik, an internet DJ and nice guy,
Landed an interview that ultimately made him cry.
It’s true, Joe Pa is a great coach,
With ethics beyond all reproach,
But Penn’s ACT scores are still below the Illini.
Penn? JoePa may have gone to an Ivy League school, but he sure doesn’t coach at one.
(I know, took me long enough to see this, but was at a taping of Ellen yesterday afternoon — airing today for those who watch the very hilarious lady’s show.)
There once was a site called 3D
With bloggers all up with wee-wee
Each other they slam
Though none’s worth a damn
‘Cause they just can’t match up with ol’ me.