For the past 16 hours I’ve been holed up in threedonia world headquarter’s subterranean lab, trying to make sense out of this Jesse James deal. While there is absolutely no doubt that Jesse James is a douche of epic proportions, a complete and utter tool; there is the question of where his ineptness as a man will ultimately fall, in the annals of human history. I’ve spent hours trying to diagram this at the white board, burned out the processor on the lab’s Cray… Then it hit me. This can’t be digested in one setting. It’s like an NCAA tournament bracket. It has to be broken up into component parts, and each part needs to be analyzed by a team of brilliant minds. Then, finally, we can piece the component parts together and make sense of it all. And, fortunately, I’ve got the www.threedonia.com readership at my disposal, a team of the most brilliant minds on the interwebs.
So, let’s take this one step at a time. First up, Jesse James vs. Bill Buckner. Discuss amongst yourselves…
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Translated…Rufus has been sitting on the can reading the Obamacare bill
No wonder his legs are going numb.
I know E.P. and Kriskey have got to have something to say about this…
Well… They both definitely made a mistake by letting some thing get between their legs they should have stopped.
Buckner disappointed. You can’t imagine what it was like to see that play live, to KNOW that it was all over. That play hurt as much as the Superbowl of 07, which I shall no longer speak of.
Buckner was a pro, a decent fellow, and botched a play in a game. It happens.
James, not so much. James is a tool, an idiot of biblical proportions. His actions speak volumes about him as a man. However, that’s all he is. A man, and he’s going to have LOT of things to ponder in the coming years, especially as he writes out those alimony checks every month.
Alimony checks?! His soon to be ex-wife can buy and sell him ten times over. The only checks this guy will see are the ones he collects in 5 years from his appearance on either Celebrity Fit Club or Celebrity Big Brother; ’cause that’s where his career is headed.
Oh, I know……. I was just thinking that his wife, with all her cash, wouldn’t be blamed for hiring a fine lawyer and demanding that he pay alimony as punishment.
Living well is the best revenge. Simply removing him from the circle of success that surrounds her will be punishment enough for this clueless, celebrity wannabe. 10 years from now when she turns on her TV and sees him on a reality show with Blagojevich and Kathleen Griffin will be revenge enough.
Buckner didn’t go out and try to screw up, James had an active part in his episode.
About the alimony, I know she has a house in Austin, TX but I’m not sure if they are TX residents. If the proceedings are done in TX I doubt anyone will get any money seeing as no kids are involved.
I would compare Mister James actions with those of Hugh Grant when he got caught with a prostitute when he was an item with Elizabeth Hurley. WTF?!?
I remember exactly where I was game six because of that. If they had won, I probably wouldn’t remember.
I feel sorry for Buchner but James? A baseball bat to the yarbles would be fitting.
That eunuch jelly!
For those who despise the Sawx and their loathsome fans, Buckner is a hero. For whom would this James guy be a hero, and for exactly doing what?
Misogynists?
No comparison. If Buckner had flubbed that ball because he was cheating on his wife with a grotesque whore, then yes, there’s a point of similarity.
I think a bird shitting it’s nest would be a more apt comparison.
A nest his wife built…
“Grotesque whore” – best description I have seen for her yet.
Apparently one of her tattoos is a swastika…not sure how they can tell
Besides, Buckner had three balls between his legs and lost one. James had two and lost both.
Without Buckner, the Sox aren’t even in the playoffs in ’86. Keeping that in mind, he was a net asset to the team. And he never quit on the people who counted on him.
Jesse James better be damn glad this happened after the season premiere of South Park and not after.
And this is from someone who liked his show – a lot.
I’ve seen pictures of the co-respondent and she inspires this paraphrase from The Thin Man:
I don’t like tattoos. If I did like tattoos, I wouldn’t like hers. And if I DID like her tattoos, I still wouldn’t like HER.
Ms Bullock may be hell to live with but taking up with Ms McGee when self-abuse is an option is just … repugnant.
At the U. of Chicago back in the 70s one of my friends came up with this line: “any man willing to [copulate} a UofC woman is a man too lazy to masturbate.”