Use your hands, dummies. Also, add body slams, get rid of useless nil-nil ties and play on an extremely steep slope. With a few modifications, soccer could become hugely popular world-wide.
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O’Rourke: How to fix soccer
8 comments to O’Rourke: How to fix soccerLeave a Reply |
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Give the players helmets, pads and shin and arm guards, then use a ball with spikes.
Give every player a double shot of bourbon before each period.
For every goal you score, one player of the other team is removed from the game.
The losing team forfeits their game check.
Why is my comment disappearing into the spam trap?
Nothing in the trap.
Let’s try this:
Or just fill the teams with hot women (preferably lesbian) playing in volleyball uniforms: http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/defamer/2008/08/beach_volleyball_ban.jpg
Incidentally, women tend to be more brutal when they play. That might also up the interest.
This happened quite a while ago. At the time, I even posted an observation that it was like watching my daughter play her defensive sweeper positon during high school. Though this was bad, it happens all the time – this was just a case caught on camera. I guess that since these are ‘girls’ it is supposed to be a barbie tea party. Trust me, the girls play a lot rougher than the boys in grade school, high school, and college.
Our girls are babied and coddled in atheletics – this is what happens when they are in a sport where their true feelings can come out now and then!
Once, in a junior high aged club game, daughter unit bulldogged the other team’s top scorer just outside the box – grabbed her in a head lock as she drove toward the goal, and drove her face first into the grass. She got a yellow card, hoots and hollers from her teamates, congrats from her coach, and a high five from the girl she tackled (who was one of her school friends).
There should be a penalty for “unlady like behavior”.
Wish those soccer gals at my Alma Mater were on the football team,might win a few games.