Nothing in class today but exams.
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Thursday Open Thread
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You all are reminded that I am an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability.
Digital Camera
To remove dust, grime and fingerprints, wipe the outside with a microfiber cloth and then carefully swipe over the lens. For a thorough cleaning, take to a professional or use commercial wipes.
I had invulnerability once. Got over it with bed rest and a bit of the ‘hair-o’-the-dog’, as they say.
There’s a microfiber cloth that will take care of that, too!!
I wish you a speedy recovery, TCR!
Seems that status is sooo “out” now! Both Paula and Jill have lost their “clearances,” too. Does that mean they can’t buy their birth control at the PX anymore?
The last time I had an exam like that, the doctor said, “I apologize in advance.”
I think I need to find a new doctor. Mine said, “I’m gonna enjoy this a lot more than you are.”
The paramedic who was in charge of our Advanced Officer Training medical component once told the story of one such exam he underwent. He said it was going well until he realized the doctor had both hands on his shoulders. “Cough, cough.”
How did he get away with such unprofessional banter? Because he was a brilliant teacher, belly-hugging humorous, the information he imparted saved many of us from harm, and maybe because he was gay. I love him to this day. He was indispensable; one of those people who crosses your path whom you realize in retrospect had a profound & positive effect upon you.
The last time I had an exam like that my doctor was a rather attractive female. When she had completed her task, I told her it felt as though she had forgotten to trim her nails that day! As she was getting up from ROFL, she said, laughingly, “My apologies!” True story!
Disclaimer: No microfiber was harmed during the aforementioned dialogue!
What’s the difference between a bartender and a proctologist?? (I was a bartender, doncha know, so I know the answer. Do you?) *o^
In advance or from behind?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0AfVMdzmv4
For all you wimmins…this is what it’s like!
Caution: NSFW
The first time I had an exam like that I was completely unprepared.
When the doctor told me to put my elbows on the table I thought it was a new-dangled hernia test. I actually let out a loud, “Oh, no!” when I realized my mistake.
New-FANGLED. Nothing was dangling. I was retracted.
I see no one’s jumping to be “First!” on today’s open thread…
I had a student ask me if he could take the exam 5 days later because he got back from a choir tour last Monday and needed more time to study because he didn’t realize we had an exam on Thursday that has been on the schedule since early September. Someone at the Provost’s office told him maybe I’d negotiate. NO. Adults check their schedules and balance tings out.
…because when your tings are out of balance, the tongs will soon complain.
See, the word tings is funny because I live in Asia where my students asked me about the presidential erection.
LOL! You almost caused a spit take, Doc.
I think ‘Slow-Joe’ Biden knows a thing or two about the Presidential “erection”.
Are tongs the same as frip-frops?
I thought tongs were butt-floss!
If your election lasts for more than four hours, consult a physician.
If it lasts for more than four years, consult your pharmacologist.
For election issues I thought we’re supposed to see a proctologist.
Psychotherapist.
Seen scrawled on car in teachers’ lot: “Professor Floyd – little prick.”
Floyd, calling out “first” is so immature. I’m sure that’s why the fellers didn’t bother. What are you saying?
Also, I commend you for your stance on the exam schedule. I am confident that when the cutey coed coos to you “Oh, Dr. Turbo, I love your class. You are so smart. I wish I was smart. I wish I could get an “A” in your class. I’d do anything to get an “A” in your class. What can I do to get an “A” in your class,” you reply, “Study.”
Student: “Oh, Dr. Turbo, I love your class. You are so smart. I wish I was smart. I wish I could get an “A” in your class. I’d do anything to get an “A” in your class. What can I do to get an “A” in your class,”
Turbo: “Study” (Walks away) “Toodles.”
Well, the “Toodles” is something I would do.
Hey! “Toodles” isn’t code word for “you-know-what,” is it??? Maybe something David and Paula put in their shared draft emails maybe?? *o^
And Rep Clyburn just awarded Susan Rice “inviolability” status because she’s an African American woman. King’s X!! Equal pay for equal work but treat us wimmins like delicate flowers when the goin’ gets tough!! Ya’hear??
Like Eastwood in, The Eiger Sanction.
Helm, how do you remember this stuff???
A good quote by Senator Jefferson Smith for those still recovering from the election:
“You think I’m licked. You all think I’m licked. Well, I’m not licked. And I’m going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. Even if the room gets filled with lies like these, and the Taylors and all their armies come marching into this place.”
That is fab, Kit. I browsed around and found this, a Catholic perspective on Mr. Senator Smith and the Tea Party.
Read it, loved it.
Hooray for Hollywood … then.
I just had good news. My proposal to translate this book, “Norway in the Viking Age”: http://www.sagabok.no/katalog/p_81_norge_i_vikingtid_.html has been verbally accepted by the Norwegian publisher. I drastically lowballed my bid, because I’m unproven as a professional translator, and because I’m enthusiastic about the project and want to establish a working relationship. The translation work should be fairly easy, except for the sheer length, because I’m accustomed to translating flowery, convoluted 19th Century Norwegian, while this book is written in a clear, plain style.
The thesis is radical in a couple ways. The author argues that the Viking attacks were a response to aggression against Denmark by Charlemagne and the Franks. The whole story of the Viking Age becomes an ideological struggle between the Norse, who had a tradition of democratic government and personal freedom, and Charlemagne’s legacy of centralization and absolute monarchy. If you’ve read my Erling Skjalgsson books, you have some idea what I’m talking about (Erling is a central character in this book). It was sort of a states’ rights struggle.
Congratulations, Lars. That is commendable. A bit OT: Norway is in the news.
Perhaps an exit strategy is in order? Do you have dual citizenship? The news bodes well for increased demand for Norwegian —-> English translations, yes?
Congrats and good luck.
Awesome news, Lars — congratulations. Wow ‘em so you can be sure to mid-ball the next offer.
That is my plan.
I vote for high ball! Akivett
I’ve never actually tried Aquavit. I suppose somebody will persuade me eventually.
Congrats, Lars! Good news indeed!
Yay you!! So state’s rights and warm chickens….sounds good.
Anyone getting the feeling that right now we are watching Israel performing a reenactment of the Baptism Scene from the Godfather.
Anyone?
Leave the gun. Take the knish.
Good one, Eric.
Ha! Cannoli (or rather, knish) for you.
Tink!! Haven’t you got that answer yet???
Nope, I can only count to 20, not 21 like the guys.
Careful there, ladies. I once knew a kid who had two thumbs on each hand and could count to 23!
He’d be great to take on a hitch hiking trip!! I guess his “rule of thumb” was more cumbersome than the 68 new regulations just handed down from the White House.
I can count to 22 if I take off my Maidenform and up to 23 if I don’t cut off my nose to spite my face.
Just don’t go looking for love in Ft. Lauderdale then.
Yuck. Believe it or not, my first case fresh outta the academy was a mayhem. Two stupidhead friends got really drunk then had a gentleman’s disagreement. One bit the other’s ear off. Nice.
I thought wimmin could count to 22…
Oh, sorry, Tink — is this a sore subject for you?
Ha! Beatcha!! (But who’s counting?}
Hmmmm…this is the second time you’ve beat me to the finish line. I’m beginning to suspect someone is using performance enhancers.
Chicken fat and booze. I’m easy.
DANG! Rough crowd!
I guess you guys found out, I have only ever counted to 20 in my whole life.
Gymnasts …
she doesn’t get far in the alphabet either…..
I’d say “Oh, snap!”, but…you know.
A to DD?
I meant to write “A to ZZ” … but who cares.
I bet she really stuck the landing.
And the dance begins:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2233221/Dennys-charge-5-Obamacare-surcharge-cut-employee-hours-deal-cost-legislation.html
Enjoy your Lumberjack Slam!
I saw that, too, & want everyone to know that San Francisco is way ahead of the pack. We are sooo progressive!! “Healthy San Francisco.”And it’s the law!!!
Of course, it’s also been the subject of a Civil Grand Jury inquiry for fraud. Imagine that?
President Gavin Newsom unavailable for comment.
So soon after the cheese-stick sandwich (defibrillator optional) returned, too.
And now no more 32 oz. shots of Makers Mark for you, young man!!
I’m pacing myself, Sergeant.
That’s it. Road march tomorrow, zero five hundred funny guy.
I am off work today – Yay! – so I decided to put one of my theories in play.
I have spent the morning watching all the alphabet soup morning news programs. And you know what? As I suspected, there is a parallel universe to the one in which I live. Over there, everything is Rainbow-Mayberry and our country has finally evolved into a righteous place to live. Everything’s coming up roses!!
I’m so despondent lately, I’m thinking that I might crossover, at least for a while, and live in Shangri-La for a bit.
What? Me worry?
Jihadists mocked on Twitter by Israel-supporters, butthurt liberals predictably whine. I’m not sure which one of those was more fun to read; maybe it’s a tie. Grab some popcorn and follow the link!
I did it (but I grabbed the bacon instead of the popcorn). This is hysterical. And I liked one of the comments: “liberal/whiny hiney.” I’m stealin’ it. (But I won’t use it during my stay in Shangri-La).
Everything’s better with bacon.
Here is some footage of the event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NAzGjzyXGLI
I hope he has insurance.
“You’re a Hamas commander and I’m an Israeli missile coming right towards your car. Are you in good hands?”
Allstate ain’t gonna help him with that “Mr. Mayhem!”
Jimmy, it gets better.
Yesterday on twitter, the IDF posted this statement: “We recommend that no Hamas operatives, whether low level or senior leaders, show their faces above ground in the days ahead.”
Line.in.Gaza.sand.
Any Magnus sitings as yet?
No! Where is that guy??
[sightings ... unless we plan to plant a flag on him *o^]
He says that he is rather rotund; however, I think you are correct, unless he sports his own zipcode!
Ethics? We don’t need no stinkin’ ethics …
Ethics is something the Fourth Estate is devoid of!
And who are the “mourning” Muslim women used for the Israeli story “mourning”? A Palestinian
militantterrorist. Nice. Both pictures come from the Associated Press, by the by. Hey, Yahoo News & AP – here’s an idea – the next time you do a story that’s remotely related to WWII and the Holocaust use pictures of mourning Nazis. … NOT… jerks…This wacko woman taught a couple of education classes that I took a few years ago. She told us that she used a sexual analogy to get students interests in finding the slope of the X-Y intercept, and that her principal found out and told her to stop. According to her the principal was wrong because that was the only method that made the kids want to learn the strategy. Looks like she’s up to it again … and more.
http://www.abc15.com/dpp/news/national/student-sues-port-st-lucie-high-school-teacher-meri-ann-johnson-board-for-alleged-sex-references
Classy. That licking the water off her an extra credit bonus if ever existed. Nothing like her living out her “Hot for Teacher” fantasies for her “eager-beaver” students.
And she’s not good looking at all. Not that it would make it right … I’m just trying to understand why she would think the kids would be turned on by her. You would think the projectile vomiting would give her a hint.
She obviously has issues.
Testing my new found blockquoting skills:
LOL, MH, on points and style.
Ain’t that blockquoting the bomb!!
XX-XY chromosome intercept?
The Artist is finally on Netflix streaming. Can’t recommend it enough.
Ha! I’m watching The Eiger Sanction right now!!! I’ll queue The Artist for next.
The Eiger Sanction is the closest thing to a Matt Helm book adaptation, except the books aren’t as slow paced, or filed with unnecessary scenes. I think the writer ripped off the Helm books, as you noticed the name Hemlock.
Duh! I saw The Artist in the theater. Lovely film.
Matt and Tex are right. I recommend it very highly.
Uggie!!!
A bit of good news – http://washingtonexaminer.com/byron-york-gop-guvs-brace-for-fights-over-obamacare-drilling/article/2513624#.UKXeoIXu1GG
Unless the (R) Gov’s decide to roll over for the administration.