You all are reminded that I am an honorary consul general, so I have inviolability.
To remove dust, grime and fingerprints, wipe the outside with a microfiber cloth and then carefully swipe over the lens. For a thorough cleaning, take to a professional or use commercial wipes.
I had invulnerability once. Got over it with bed rest and a bit of the ‘hair-o’-the-dog’, as they say.
There’s a microfiber cloth that will take care of that, too!!
I wish you a speedy recovery, TCR!
Seems that status is sooo “out” now! Both Paula and Jill have lost their “clearances,” too. Does that mean they can’t buy their birth control at the PX anymore?
The last time I had an exam like that, the doctor said, “I apologize in advance.”
I think I need to find a new doctor. Mine said, “I’m gonna enjoy this a lot more than you are.”
The paramedic who was in charge of our Advanced Officer Training medical component once told the story of one such exam he underwent. He said it was going well until he realized the doctor had both hands on his shoulders. “Cough, cough.”
How did he get away with such unprofessional banter? Because he was a brilliant teacher, belly-hugging humorous, the information he imparted saved many of us from harm, and maybe because he was gay. I love him to this day. He was indispensable; one of those people who crosses your path whom you realize in retrospect had a profound & positive effect upon you.
The last time I had an exam like that my doctor was a rather attractive female. When she had completed her task, I told her it felt as though she had forgotten to trim her nails that day! As she was getting up from ROFL, she said, laughingly, “My apologies!” True story!
Disclaimer: No microfiber was harmed during the aforementioned dialogue!
What’s the difference between a bartender and a proctologist?? (I was a bartender, doncha know, so I know the answer. Do you?) *o^
The first time I had an exam like that I was completely unprepared.
When the doctor told me to put my elbows on the table I thought it was a new-dangled hernia test. I actually let out a loud, “Oh, no!” when I realized my mistake.
New-FANGLED. Nothing was dangling. I was retracted.
I see no one’s jumping to be “First!” on today’s open thread…
I had a student ask me if he could take the exam 5 days later because he got back from a choir tour last Monday and needed more time to study because he didn’t realize we had an exam on Thursday that has been on the schedule since early September. Someone at the Provost’s office told him maybe I’d negotiate. NO. Adults check their schedules and balance tings out.
…because when your tings are out of balance, the tongs will soon complain.
See, the word tings is funny because I live in Asia where my students asked me about the presidential erection.
If your election lasts for more than four hours, consult a physician.
If it lasts for more than four years, consult your pharmacologist.
For election issues I thought we’re supposed to see a proctologist.
Seen scrawled on car in teachers’ lot: “Professor Floyd – little prick.”
Floyd, calling out “first” is so immature. I’m sure that’s why the fellers didn’t bother. What are you saying?
Also, I commend you for your stance on the exam schedule. I am confident that when the cutey coed coos to you “Oh, Dr. Turbo, I love your class. You are so smart. I wish I was smart. I wish I could get an “A” in your class. I’d do anything to get an “A” in your class. What can I do to get an “A” in your class,” you reply, “Study.”
Student: “Oh, Dr. Turbo, I love your class. You are so smart. I wish I was smart. I wish I could get an “A” in your class. I’d do anything to get an “A” in your class. What can I do to get an “A” in your class,”
Turbo: “Study” (Walks away) “Toodles.”
Well, the “Toodles” is something I would do.
Hey! “Toodles” isn’t code word for “you-know-what,” is it??? Maybe something David and Paula put in their shared draft emails maybe?? *o^
And Rep Clyburn just awarded Susan Rice “inviolability” status because she’s an African American woman. King’s X!! Equal pay for equal work but treat us wimmins like delicate flowers when the goin’ gets tough!! Ya’hear??
Like Eastwood in, The Eiger Sanction.
Helm, how do you remember this stuff???
Art Student: I’ve never felt this close to art before.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: How nice.
Art Student: But I have a problem.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: How terrible.
Art Student: If I don’t keep my “B” average, I’ll lose my scholarship and I don’t think I’ll do well on your final exam. I’ve gained a while new feeling about art but sometimes you can’t put your true feelings down on paper.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: How true.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: Are you busy this evening?
Art Student: No.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: You live alone?
Art Student: My roommate’s gone for the week.
Dr. Jonathan Hemlock: Good. Then… go on home, break out the books and study your little ass off. That’s the best way to maintain a “B” average. Don’t study it all off.
A good quote by Senator Jefferson Smith for those still recovering from the election:
“You think I’m licked. You all think I’m licked. Well, I’m not licked. And I’m going to stay right here and fight for this lost cause. Even if the room gets filled with lies like these, and the Taylors and all their armies come marching into this place.”
That is fab, Kit. I browsed around and found this, a Catholic perspective on Mr. Senator Smith and the Tea Party.
Read it, loved it.
Hooray for Hollywood … then.
I just had good news. My proposal to translate this book, “Norway in the Viking Age”: http://www.sagabok.no/katalog/p_81_norge_i_vikingtid_.html has been verbally accepted by the Norwegian publisher. I drastically lowballed my bid, because I’m unproven as a professional translator, and because I’m enthusiastic about the project and want to establish a working relationship. The translation work should be fairly easy, except for the sheer length, because I’m accustomed to translating flowery, convoluted 19th Century Norwegian, while this book is written in a clear, plain style.
The thesis is radical in a couple ways. The author argues that the Viking attacks were a response to aggression against Denmark by Charlemagne and the Franks. The whole story of the Viking Age becomes an ideological struggle between the Norse, who had a tradition of democratic government and personal freedom, and Charlemagne’s legacy of centralization and absolute monarchy. If you’ve read my Erling Skjalgsson books, you have some idea what I’m talking about (Erling is a central character in this book). It was sort of a states’ rights struggle.
Congratulations, Lars. That is commendable. A bit OT: Norway is in the news.
Perhaps an exit strategy is in order? Do you have dual citizenship? The news bodes well for increased demand for Norwegian —-> English translations, yes?
Congrats and good luck.
Awesome news, Lars — congratulations. Wow ‘em so you can be sure to mid-ball the next offer.
I saw that, too, & want everyone to know that San Francisco is way ahead of the pack. We are sooo progressive!! “Healthy San Francisco.”And it’s the law!!!
Of course, it’s also been the subject of a Civil Grand Jury inquiry for fraud. Imagine that?
President Gavin Newsom unavailable for comment.
So soon after the cheese-stick sandwich (defibrillator optional) returned, too.
And now no more 32 oz. shots of Makers Mark for you, young man!!
I’m pacing myself, Sergeant.
That’s it. Road march tomorrow, zero five hundred funny guy.
I am off work today – Yay! – so I decided to put one of my theories in play.
I have spent the morning watching all the alphabet soup morning news programs. And you know what? As I suspected, there is a parallel universe to the one in which I live. Over there, everything is Rainbow-Mayberry and our country has finally evolved into a righteous place to live. Everything’s coming up roses!!
I’m so despondent lately, I’m thinking that I might crossover, at least for a while, and live in Shangri-La for a bit.
I did it (but I grabbed the bacon instead of the popcorn). This is hysterical. And I liked one of the comments: “liberal/whiny hiney.” I’m stealin’ it. (But I won’t use it during my stay in Shangri-La).
Okay – let’s stay neutral here. It would make sense to use a photo that represents the anguish of the Israelis in the story about the Israeli losses, and a photo that represents the anguish of the Muslim in the story about his loss. I mean, my own views aside, that would seem to be the journalistically ethical thing to do.
But Yahoo News knows better. It ain’t about ethics …
Ethics is something the Fourth Estate is devoid of!
And who are the “mourning” Muslim women used for the Israeli story “mourning”? A Palestinian militant terrorist. Nice. Both pictures come from the Associated Press, by the by. Hey, Yahoo News & AP – here’s an idea – the next time you do a story that’s remotely related to WWII and the Holocaust use pictures of mourning Nazis. … NOT… jerks…
This wacko woman taught a couple of education classes that I took a few years ago. She told us that she used a sexual analogy to get students interests in finding the slope of the X-Y intercept, and that her principal found out and told her to stop. According to her the principal was wrong because that was the only method that made the kids want to learn the strategy. Looks like she’s up to it again … and more.
Classy. That licking the water off her an extra credit bonus if ever existed. Nothing like her living out her “Hot for Teacher” fantasies for her “eager-beaver” students.
And she’s not good looking at all. Not that it would make it right … I’m just trying to understand why she would think the kids would be turned on by her. You would think the projectile vomiting would give her a hint.
She obviously has issues.
Testing my new found blockquoting skills:
You would think the projectile vomiting would give her a hint.
LOL, MH, on points and style.
Ain’t that blockquoting the bomb!!
XX-XY chromosome intercept?
The Artist is finally on Netflix streaming. Can’t recommend it enough.
Ha! I’m watching The Eiger Sanction right now!!! I’ll queue The Artist for next.
The Eiger Sanction is the closest thing to a Matt Helm book adaptation, except the books aren’t as slow paced, or filed with unnecessary scenes. I think the writer ripped off the Helm books, as you noticed the name Hemlock.
Duh! I saw The Artist in the theater. Lovely film.
Matt and Tex are right. I recommend it very highly.