3D Weekend Five: The Twinkie Defense

Hostess Bakers Union: We Reject Your Latest Offer. Hostess Final Offer: Then We’re Closing Up And You’ll Get Nothing. Hostess Bakers Union: Good! Wait, What?

(the above snark is courtesy DrewM of AceHQ)

 Which Hostess goodies will you miss the most?

5.  Ding Dongs:  But the old-fashioned kind that were individually wrapped in foil.

4.  Ho hos:  Because they’re ding-dongs you can unroll.

3.  Chocodiles:  Only had ’em once.  They’re Twinkies dipped in chocolate.  Disgusting.  Fabulous.  Disulous.  Fabusting.

2.  Sno Balls:  Hostess cupcakes covered in marshmallow goo dyed pink.

1.  Wonder Bread :  I haven’t had any in years.  This is a salute to the sandwiches (tuna fish) and toast (with strawberry jam) of my childhood.  When the word “unbleached” meant what hadn’t happened to the bath towels.

21 comments to 3D Weekend Five: The Twinkie Defense

  • Scott M.

    Way to go,union asshats…go on strike in the middle of a recession instead of being glad you have a job!

  • Hostess Cherry Pies — the only worthy substitute to homemade.

    “Yo, Ding Dong, man. Ding Dong. Ding Dong, yo.” — immortalized, as so much in pop culture, by the “Weird” one.

    “Wonder Bread?!? Dat ain’t no McDonald’s!” — ditto from Eddie Murphy.

    Suzy Q’s — one of the saddest thing is I will soon no longer have to make late-night 7-11 runs to quench milady’s love of this Hostess entry.

    Yup, keep on supporting union thugs, lefties. Jerks. [this is a family-ish site, so toning down what’s really on my lips, sadly not a chocolate Hostess cupcake]

  • -fritz-

    5. Ding Dongs
    4. Cherry pies
    3. Chocolate Cupcakes
    2. Twinkies
    1. Susie Qs

    Personally, I think Hostess should, since they are under bankruptcy court protection, fire all union help and hire scab labor! That’s the way it used to be done. Break the stinking unions!

    • Raoul Ortega

      No. This is better. If they did fire them, the union bakers would be hanging around for months being pests, and garnering Occupy type sympathy from the Progressive Left and their MiniTrue and demonizing and tormenting those who replaced them. This way those jobs are gone, and there’s no picture ops or propaganda to be made from it.

      That we’ll be able to make jokes for years about how the unions did to the Twinkie is far more important.

  • Chocolate Donettes

    Ding Dongs

    Chocodiles — exactly as you describe Wankette.

    Apple pies…

    Chocolate cupcakes — frosting first

  • Texacalirose

    Twinkerbell and Wonder Pan.

  • The good news: I found a stash at a local Shell station.
    The bad news: I didn’t know Hostess bought out Dolly Madison. Farewell Zingers!

    • I blanked out on Dolly Madison being the sponsors of my childhood holiday memories, for all the ads for Zingers during the Charlie Brown specials. I’ve already got the Peanuts holiday three-pack on DVD, and grabbed a couple boxes of chocolate Zingers yesterday. Now I just need to get my old Silverado running, load up the ammo and dog food, and I’ll be set! http://youtu.be/GOmxn6IJlzc

  • Matt Helm

    5. Suzi Qs
    4. Devil Dogs
    3. Donettes
    2. Chocolate Cupcakes
    1. Fruit Pie

    RIP Twinkie the Kid, Captain Cupcake, Fruit Pie the Magician, and Happy Ho Ho.

  • Raoul Ortega

    So it turns out that Twinkies, which were supposed to be able to survive the Nukular Armmageddon, the Zombie Apocalypse and the Heat Death of the Universe couldn’t survive the Bakers Union. Maybe we’ve finally found a way to exterminate cockroaches and other vermin– unionize ’em.

  • Dr. Schplatt

    5. Twinkies
    4. Twinkies
    3. Twinkies
    2. Twinkies
    1. Twinkies

  • I have had a lifelong relationship with Ho Hos. Seriously, I even lost weight on them. Long ago, I found that I could stay on a calorie-counting diet if I budgeted one Ho Ho into the numbers every day. Lost 60 lbs. Kept it off a long time, too, though it’s all back now and I’m trying to re-capture the magic.

    I also like Ding Dongs a lot. I’ve often wondered, why do 12 Ding Dongs (which are larger, as far as I can tell) go for the same price as a box of 10 Ho Hos? Do Ho Hos require a higher level of craftsmanship?

    Twinkies are cool, and Sno Balls are also nice.

    • Tracy,txmom2many

      I don’t know what I was expecting, but I wasn’t expecting a glowing essay on the wonders of Hostess. It’s a Thanksgiving miracle.

  • 67Cougar

    I hope all the idiots who ran out and hoarded Twinkies get stuck looking at them for the next 20 years or so. Idiots … trying to sell those things on Ebay … Even bigger idiots – anyone buying them on Ebay.

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