3D Weekend Five: Powerball Possibilities

The winners have already been found, but what if YOU had been the only one?

We’ve played the “If I had a million dollars..” game before.  In honor of the season, let’s make this one mostly — or at least half — what you’d do for your neighborhood/ town/ state/society with the dough.

One thing I’ve set my heart on: a reeducation camp for single women who voted for Obama.  Day One: a bitchslapping with a copy of Adam Smith.

And I would open up a movie theater, modeled on Grauman’s Chinese, that showed only classic films.  And Robert Osborne would be on the Board of Directors, and he would have dinner with me once a month to set the screening schedule.

And I would give some of the money to the organizations that helped me in the months after my accident.

And I would organize a spa week (or two) for my nearest & dearest.

And I would order a red Mini Cooper, and order Bradley Cooper to deliver it.


24 comments to 3D Weekend Five: Powerball Possibilities

  • I’m going to leave the “take care of family” as a given and leave it out of the list.

    1. I’d tithe it to my church

    2. I’d buy a chunk of a sports team. I’d prefer the Cowboys or the Rangers, but I think it would be fun and a great investment (the right team… not The Astros — with current ownership or The Bengals for example).

    3. My vacation convinced me to buy an island in the Bahamas

    2. I’d help a friend of mine with the C.S. Lewis Foundation pursue his goal of a C.S. Lewis College in the Northeast U.S. The bubble is going to burst on higher ed to be sure, but colleges will not go away and the need for beacons of light is more important now than ever before.

    1. Donate a ton of money to the hospice where my grandmother passed away. Hospice care is the Lord’s work and the care and comfort a good one provides is invaluable I feel.

  • Scott M.

    I’d start something like the Hoover Institution at my alma mater,New Mexico,and put Floyd and Rufus in charge!

  • JimmyC

    1. I’d open a production company in Hollywood that makes movies and TV shows promoting conservative values. Not propaganda, but art and entertainment with conservative themes. More movies like The Passion of the Christ and 300, more shows like Red Eye and 24. And I’d make sure the PJTV folks have their own hour-long talk show on National TV somewhere.

    2. I’d start a venture capital firm that invests in entrepreneurial start-ups in my hometown.

    3. I’d donate to a variety of good causes that I believe in: help for wounded veterans, American Cancer Society, some local animal shelters, you get the idea.

    4. I’d move my family into a slightly nicer house. Not a mansion or anything, just a newer house that’s in better shape- our current place is over 50 years old and is subject to flooding and a host of other problems. It’s what we could afford at the time, and it’s in pretty good shape now that we’ve fixed it up, but it’d be nice to live in a house where you don’t have to worry about what’s going to fall apart next.

    5. I’d buy up some local real estate in my area that needs improvement- businesses and homes that have gone to seed, empty lots, etc.- and fix them up into nicer places and sell them off. Just revitalize my neighborhood a bit, because trust me, it could use it.

  • Tink in Cali

    Oh Wankette, who are you kidding? Dinner with Robert Osborne only ONCE A MONTH?? I am sure you could charm more face time than that. :)

    Are you spying on us? Mr. Tink and I were talking about this very thing last weekend.

    1. Completely fund our church building fund, with plenty left over for other projects.
    2. Start a foundation, with the offices located in our town and staff it with our talented friends who could use more fulfilling careers. The purpose of the foundation would be too find worthy projects and charities to support financially.
    3. Along Jimmy’s house theme, I would buy my cousin and her family a new house for many of his same reasons – and to get them out from under the thumb on my Mussolini-esque uncle.
    4. Help start more charter schools like the one my children attend in other areas. Parents are hungry for alternative educational choices for their kids and this one strikes a great balance between home time and school time.
    5. On a personal note, I would like to travel and some of the world that interests me. And I am pretty sure there are beaches in Puerto Rico that need some face time from Ms. Tink.

  • Tracy,txmom2many

    I’d buy several nice houses to house some of our missionary families when they come home on furlough, furnished and stocked.

    I’d probably adopt or fund adoptions, anything to get those babies (or not so babies) a home.

    Pick a military family a year and get them their dream vacation after the deployed parent comes home. Starting with my sister of course.

    Zoon would have the music room/recording studio of his dreams.

    Get my daddy early retirement, a new car, and a place to have my sister be able to stay with him. He loves having them visit but is in a one room apartment right now.

  • Scott M.

    The Eric Porvaznik Chair at the School of Music,The Pennsylvania State University!

    • You’d require me to interact with those statist faculty members? You’re a cruel man, but as the surrounding ambiance would more than make up for it, I still thank you.

  • -fritz-

    1. Tithe to God.
    2. Give some more to homeless shelters, and St. Jude Children’s Hospitals.
    3. Payoff the house.
    4. Payoff the car.
    5. Buy a “Festivus” pole for every liberal in the country and have it mounted where the sun don’t shine! And buy a huge highway sign in every major city in the country and have “It’s called Christmas, people” printed in huge letters on it!

  • JimmyC already took the quality film production idea (JC, I’ll hope you budget enough in the PJTV thing to make them finally get their heads out of their behinds to occasionally hire me freelance), so keeping entertainment-minded, I’d start a music label where the acts have to shut up and simply sing. Left, right, whatever — I don’t wanna hear about it. Pro-troops songs like Kid Rock’s “Let’s Ride” are highly encouraged, though.

    Become a lobbyist rich powerful enough to abolish the FDA, thereby allowing the best medicines from around the world to enter the USA.

    Unencumbered by the above death of the overly bureaucratic FDA, hire the best US doctors and scientists to develop vaccines and/or cures for all currently terminal illnesses/diseases.

    Season tickets to the NY Giants for milady. No longer overly exhausted by MS, flights back east eight times a year would be no problem for her.

    Buy the rights for “The Path to 9/11” and start showing it every year on FX, between new episodes of Justified and Sons of Anarchy, both also now running on 24-episode seasons, natch. So Nick Searcy will now have to work 50 days a year. He’ll be paid accordingly … and will finally get the Emmy nominations Jeremy Davies has been getting.

  • Matt Helm

    5. I would buy the (probably much discounted) rights to Hostess and base them in Florida, which is a right-to-work state where you don’t have to join a union, thus they no power. That would put a lot of people to work, too.

    4. I’d open those larger than 16 oz soda speakeasies in the cities where they’re banned. But people would have to dress up, and know the password to get in, where they’d sit at tables with the little speakeasy lamps on them.

    3. Wanks and I would be partners in that classic movie theater … but I’d try and talk her into showing some foreign and cult flicks on certain nights.

    2. I’d stick around at my job till the end of the school year, but I’d take my lowest level students and pay for tutors to spend the one on one time I don’t have to give them. And I’d pay for tutors for my brightest students who can work with them on more challenging material to push them even further.

    1. After giving to the human and animal charities, maybe starting a scholarship, and giving my family houses/money/whatever … I would marry my girlfriend and buy the farm of our dreams where we could have all of our animals in one spot … and then get more.

  • Jake Was Here

    5. Give Bill Whittle $12 million for that SF movie he wants to make about a privately-funded manned mission to the outer planets. That’s a story I want to see.
    4. Invest in Wanks and Matt’s movie theater.
    3. Buy a house, strictly cash on the barrelhead — no need to undergo the usual arrogant scrutiny of my credit before getting a loan. Fill the house with all the usual shit-hits-the-fan contingencies.
    2. Rescue a few friends of mine who, through no fault of their own, are trapped in crippling debts.
    1. Publicize a few of the sleazier practices of our government and certain others. I have a personal vendetta against the government of Germany for the disgusting treatment they gave two of my friends who lived a few years over there.

  • G.E. McCulley

    1. Tunnel 7 Row 22

    2. Bose 901’s

    3. Porsche Cayenne

    4. Cherry Dr. Pepper

    5. A week at the Four Seasons in Manhattan

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