Meet Gregory Matthew Bruni of Florida. He is the Pete Rose of disturbed criminals…
In Florida, there are violent people, naked people, poopers and masturbators — but rarely is one man the total package.
When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple’s North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports.
The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder.
The Lands say Bruni ran into the house, pulled a big-screen TV off the wall, and spilled the contents of a vacuum onto the floor. Around this time, LaDonna grabbed a gun and began firing at the nude intruder. She missed, and the couple called 911.
“I don’t know who the hell he is — he’s naked and he ran into my damn house,” Tony can be heard saying on the recording.
Very impressive. Looks vaguely like he could be related to Stephen Crowder, too … not that that’s a bad thing.
Close, I think he is related more closely to one of these two But, I’m not trying to be a sourpuss or anything.
Oh, Mother! I’ll never drink another gin & tonic again! Ever!!
He had quite the busy evening. Don’t get a lot of vacuum dumping from the crazies, this intrigues me.
Austin Powers warned us about carnival workers. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXRfnIfFYFI
Ditto The Simpsons.
I suspect that Mrs. Land will be spending more time at the range now.
And she needs a higher capacity magazine.
Rats!
I’d need some peace and quiet to do my business… kudos to him for being able to concentrate. If only he could use those powers for good and not evil.
Has anyone seen Mike or Magnus lately? Just asking.
I didn’t know they were
suspectsfrom Florida, too.Ted Bundy ended up in Florida towards the end of his “career!”
Has anyone seen or heard from Helm lately?
(No, that’s not I mean! I’m just wondering if this knucklehead is one of the zombies around his school.)
Matt was here on today’s OT earlier.
Rather than Pete Rose, I’d say he’s the Bob Meusel of disturbed criminals. Bob has the career record of hitting for the cycle.