I saw this quote earlier today — it is share worthy.
If there is a sound downstairs during the night and it might be a burglar, you don’t say to her, “This is an egalitarian marriage, so it’s your turn to go check it out. I went last time.” And I mean that–even if your wife has a black belt in karate. After you’ve tried to deter him, she may finish off the burglar with one good kick to the solar plexus. But you’d better be unconscious on the floor, or you’re no man.
John Piper, This Momentary Marriage
This takes me somewhat back to my earlier post “Brass Tacks”. Why is it that men are no longer men? Abortion and the loosening of sexual mores in general is one huge factor. The breakdown in intact families with the father usually getting (and giving) the short end of the stick is another huge factor. The transference of parenting to schools, churches, sports leagues and other institutions plays a huge role also in this lack of manliness.
It’s too easy to blame feminists — they’re the symptom not the disease. Men ceased fighting for their socio-cultural place. It’s the male version of White Guilt. We are made to feel so guilty for past wrongs that we have allowed ourselves to be emasculated resulting (mostly) in two extremes: hyper distorted manliness expressed in hip-hop gangsta gang banger culture and its varied wife beater tatted strains or the wussified brow-beaten pussy-whipped milquetoast that takes all insults and is afraid to assert himself (and its attendant strains from homosexuals to emo-metrosexual WTF “guys”).
I’m a man — and I’ve got your roar right here! Give me my respect woman! I’ve earned it and will continue to earn it. I’m not cheating, won’t cheat, I’ll discipline the kids, won’t lay a hand on you (except for — you know…). I’ll work my ass off to take care of you and I’ll take the bullet for the team (or administer said bullet). All right all right all right… I’ll do the dishes when I get home.
I’ve loved reading Piper’s blog! Did you see the interview he did with Matt Chandler? Matt’s our pastor.
I’ve been very sad for a long time about the demise of Daddy. Daddy was the man, he worked the hardest and longest, yelled the loudest, when you got a spanking by Daddy, you knew you’d been spanked. Daddy could also love a child in a way that felt so very different than momma, more secure and protected than gentle but still sweet. He cussed, made the occasional crude joke, liked pretty women but remained faithful and drank a bit. He knew what was right and would fight if necessary and sometimes just for fun. He knew how to use a gun, a knife, how to change a tire, and never asked permission to open a door for a lady. The only thing daddy feared was the thought of giving his teen daughter to some boy, but a quick “talk” with the boy fixed some of that. He loves Jesus, his wife, kids, football and dogs (in that order, but never really gave a thought to whether his dog loved him back).
I didn’t have that daddy, although occasionally I saw glimpses of him in the man who raised me and he is trying to be that for my kids. But I saw that daddy in other men and learned to respect him. I married him (Dr Zoon never fights for fun though, he’s a lover not a fighter) and I’m hoping I’m raising him. I have also met him here. I just wish he wasn’t so rare.
For all that Obama’s done wrong, I have to say that having a black man who has stayed with his family in the public eye is a good thing. Ugh, I think I threw up a little in my mouth.
Matt Chandler went to the same university I went to — though he’s younger. I don’t know him, but some of my alumni friends do.
Tracy, you’re a hoot. Lovable, but a big hoot!!!
Floyd, you should have called this post “Withered Cajones.”
The Colonel liked that one!
Floyd, you’re a marvel. When I read your “Brass Tacks” post I thought about bringing up C.S. Lewis’s “Men Without Chests,” but it seemed too tangential.
And now with this post, you’ve gone and made it redundant. Thanks.
Anyone who’s never read it, you can read it for free here:
http://74.125.45.132/search?q=cache:zV_6O1t7HKcJ:www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/arch/lewis/abolition.doc+men+without+chests&cd=11&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=us
I think that feminists were the catalyst for the disease, not just simply a symptom, but the men are to blame. A great book that I think is a must read, Iron John by Robert Bly, goes into the beginning of the events that ballooned into this nightmare. He was discussing the disappearing father back in 1990 and how there was a mother-child conspiracy by unhappy or feminist mothers who poisoned their children’s views on their fathers by badmouthing him while he was away at work. And then he goes into the single mother effect on the male child. The crux of his message is that with disappearing fathers, male children haven’t any positive role models to initiate them into true manhood/adulthood. Even native tribes around the world followed a ritual where the men took the child away from the mother after a few years, whether out into the woods to teach them survival and hunting, or just gathering and bonding with other men. After that, the boy was his father’s son. I think what they/us really learn from positive male role models is not only responsibility but emotional maturity and stablilty.
Oh yeah Matt. The Sioux Indians would do that. Give the boy to his Uncle and have the Uncle tutor him on hunting, shooting his bow, riding a horse..taming a horse. The Spartans of course had an entire prep school devoted to that. Children in general needs their dads. What feminism did was take away a lot of time tested traditions like courting, and relating. Girls have no clue how to relate to boys and boys have no clue about how to relate to girls. Why? When you have Hugh Hefner objectifying women and being glorified by the world for it. To me no male human being represents the downfall of the American male like Hugh Hefner. I watched a biography special about him because he is like a car accident and I was rubber necking. He hasn’t grown up. This is a man who is still about 17 years old. He is also really a nutcase. In fact creepy doesn’t do him justice. So we got that idiot going for us. Then we have the feminazi’s running around. They also sexualize kids. They would rather have their men behave as boys and never be responsible than have to deal with a grown up man. And they don’t want responsibility for their own lives either. They made with Hefner a culture of convienient blame games.
Fritz,
As much as I admire Floyd for his consistently great Post titles, you’re right. Your version is better. It’s almost as if you and Floyd share some talent for titling posts. But what are the odds two unrelated individuals, living apart from one another their entire lives would independently develop such an ability? Eerie!
Some good points here, all around. I think we need to remember what life was like prior to the 70’s. I’m not sure the feminist movement was necessary, but some changing of men’s attitudes was in order. There is no question the penduluum has swung too far in the opposite direction, but prior to the 60’s there were too many women being treated as inferior by their husbands and fathers; even teachers and employers. The divorce rate is way too high now, and too many now abandon their marriages too easily, but let’s not forget some of those non-divorce statistics prior to the 60’s included women who were getting beaten, or married to alcoholics who abused them.
I see the penduluum swinging back in my generation (I’m in my 40’s). I have a wide circle of married friends and fewer than 10% have divorced and at least half of the moms choose staying at home with their kids over a career; and all those women are college educated.
As with most good ideas, feminism went way too far, and most who are now active in the movement (now that its important goals have been achieved) can be seen for the man-hating harpies that they are. When only 44% of undergraduates at American colleges are male we can declare the battle of the sexes won. Women are equal to men in the eyes of the law, academia, employment, homelife and politics.
Sometimes when I watch and old movie or televsion show, I shudder at how women are portrayed. I’m not PC at all (surprise!) but it really was ridiculous.
That’s why I always try to call what I oppose radical feminism.
“We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” — C.S. Lewis
I don’t think anyone here is against equality in the workplace between the sexes, or elsewhere. The problem is that it happened too sudden, almost overnight, and promoted for the wrong reasons. When one side of the societal scale drastically moves, the other side must too. In this case it went up for women, but down for society in general. If done more subtly and gradually while promoting its virtues instead of aggressively portraying women as slaves and those who chose to be stay-at-home wives and mothers as idiots (or a Stepford robot), the scale would have evened out to true equality, instead of the female supremacy it became with the radical feminists. I don’t think that housewives or the majority of women cared about running out to get jobs, it was their daughters that bought into it, the same way the young are buying into the Hollywood value/Obama crap. Then those daughters went out and got married, raised a family, but still thought themselves as independent women because they conditioned their men to be children. Their daughters in turn did the same thing to the men in their lives after years of thinking that the normal role of the husband based on their own experience. And sitcoms and commercials reinforced that worldview portraying men as they were taught to think of them.