Guess it shows how far off the radar Eddie Van Halen’s fallen when the former year-after-year “Guitarist of the Year,” and leader of the “None taller than 5’7″” band that bears his name, doesn’t get a mention in Rock’s Short List. Listing midget rockers is easy, though. Napoleonic complexes are good like that.
As the twisted mind behind the performed-once-only “I’m Too Big for Rock and Roll,” I’d like to know where the taller guys jam… …
Off the top of my head, James Hetfield, Nick Cave, Mick Fleetwood, Chad Smith, Peter Garrett and __________ ? Anyone, anyone?
I’m too big for rock and roll
It’s got no place for me
Although I’m only six-foot-one
That guy on bass is six-foot-three
The Lumberjack on drums?
In case you’re not one to venture a guess
I’ll let ya know he’s tippin’ the bar at a healthy six-foot-six
(Or six-seven, depends on his shoes)
Eddie Van Halen, Prince, Angus Young, Anthony Kiedis?
Yup, they’ve all made millions ’cause they got sick of people kickin’ their asses
But you know what? I could walk up to every one of them
Ask, “Hey, shorty, booger in my nose?”
They wouldn’t answer … but they’d know