Some fellow researchers have passed this bit of scientific news along to me. I thought I’d share (I didn’t write this, and the fellow researcher in question didn’t cite his source, tsk tsk).
HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED
Research has led to discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
normally takes less than a second to take as long as 4 years to
complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, which has half as many peons but twice the number of morons.
Poisoning by this metal is lethal at small doses.
I’ve been devouring the “Yes, Minister” DVDs and I’m thinking of reviewing them here when I’m done.
It’s a British political comedy that is completely nonpartisan, but depicts politicians as cowards and government employees as completely corrupt.
Representative quotes:
“The purpose of the official secret’s act, minister, is not to protect secrets, but to protect officials.”
“If people don’t know what you’re doing, they don’t know what you’re doing wrong.”
“‘The matter is under consideration’ means we have lost the file. ‘The matter is under active consideration’ means we are trying to find the file.”
“Politicians must be allowed to panic. They need activity. It is their substitute for achievement.”
“The perfect representative on a government committee is a disabled black Welsh woman trades unionist.”
“‘This would create a dangerous precedent’. Translation: ‘If we do the right thing now, we might have to do the right thing again next time’.”
“Avoiding precedents does not mean nothing should ever be done. It only means that nothing should ever be done for the first time.”
“A good political speech is not one in which you can prove that the man is telling the truth; it is one where no one else can prove he is lying.”
“Things don’t happen just because Prime Ministers are keen on them. Neville Chamberlain was keen on peace.”
“Politician’s logic:
We must do something.
This is something.
Therefore we must do it.”
“If we cannot refute the arguments in a paper, we simply discredit the person who wrote it. This is called playing the man and not the ball.”
“The Treasury does not work out what it needs and then think how to raise the money. It pitches for as much as it can get away with and then thinks how to spend it.”
“An atheist clergyman could not continue to draw his stipend, so when they stop believing in God they call themselves ‘modernists’.”
“Theology is a device for helping agnostics to stay within the Church of England.”
“In government, a clarification is not to make things clear. It’s to put oneself in the clear.”
I know it’s a lot of quotes, but which one could I have cut?
Conservatives are winning European Parliament seats all over the place: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31150126/. I guess Europe is finally waking up and rejecting socialism, even if the US hasn’t figured it out yet.
Hey, check out what Megan Fox (star of the upcoming Transformer 2 movie) has to say today:
The “Transformers” bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates — reluctantly — what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. “I’d barter with him,” she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, “and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?“
I give it two days max before she issues a half-assed “apology” and claims that her comments were taken out of context somehow (as if that’s possible).
She’s the only person who needs a teleprompter for public speaking more than Obama.
When are these people’s publicists going to teach them to keep their mouths shut? Here’s a tip for Megan’s agent, you may want to explain to your client that the amount of money she gets paid per film is diretly related to ticket sales.
I can understand someone speaking his or her mind and risking offending people, even risking personal income for his or her opinions. What I cannot understand is how some people have no problem profiting from ideas that are anathema to their beliefs, or taking money from people they loathe. If you hate those people don’t star in films that promote their ideals and ask them to not buy tickets, so you don’t profit from a movie that feeds their belief system.
Just my opinion but, the thing about European politics is that really, none of them are conservative. At Hot Air Ed Morrissey notes it’s probably more about punishing the party in power than anything else. Sure on the surface they might share what we consider US conservative ideals (positions on abortion and free markets for instance) they are all still nanny state lovers.
None of them are going to embrace reduction of the size of government, European ‘liberals’ and ‘conservatives’ simply fight over how they are going to direct its power. Which is why we are becoming more European by the day.
Hey, I resemble that remark! My parents, the Honorable Mr. and Mrs. Rufus J. Firefly, live in a mobile home park. Now, mind you, they live in a double-wide, so maybe Megan Fox wouldn’t want them destroyed right away.
It looks like none of you art lovers have identified this one yet. Maybe I should have posted one of Floyd’s pansy paintings, featuring men in shirts with puffy sleeves.
Dammit. I had hope for Megan Fox but she had to open her mouth, not in a good way, and ruin it. This puts her in the Kate Beckinsdale Just Sit There and Look Pretty Club. On a side note I grew up in a mobile home, axl and all, but have never struck a Bible and am as indifferent to gay people as I am to straight people. So disappointed…bad Megan!!
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Who takes a dump while doing architecture? Five bucks says tax dollars helped pay for this bit of artistic enlightment.
Thats a toilet?
That’s a modern version of the “Thinker” looking for leaves.
Some fellow researchers have passed this bit of scientific news along to me. I thought I’d share (I didn’t write this, and the fellow researcher in question didn’t cite his source, tsk tsk).
HEAVIEST ELEMENT DISCOVERED
Research has led to discovery of the heaviest element yet known to
science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25
assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy
neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are
surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.
Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be
detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into
contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that
normally takes less than a second to take as long as 4 years to
complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2-6 years; it does not decay,
but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
assistant neurons and deputy neurons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization causes more morons to become neurons, forming isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe
that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical
morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, which has half as many peons but twice the number of morons.
Poisoning by this metal is lethal at small doses.
Priceless, Skip!
Like fritz said, PRICELESS!
That is fantastic, Mighty Skip!
I’ve been devouring the “Yes, Minister” DVDs and I’m thinking of reviewing them here when I’m done.
It’s a British political comedy that is completely nonpartisan, but depicts politicians as cowards and government employees as completely corrupt.
Representative quotes:
I know it’s a lot of quotes, but which one could I have cut?
“I’ve been devouring the “Yes, Minister” DVDs…”
That’s the part I would have cut.
RE-VIEW! RE-VIEW! RE-VIEW!
Conservatives are winning European Parliament seats all over the place: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31150126/. I guess Europe is finally waking up and rejecting socialism, even if the US hasn’t figured it out yet.
Hey, check out what Megan Fox (star of the upcoming Transformer 2 movie) has to say today:
The “Transformers” bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates — reluctantly — what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. “I’d barter with him,” she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, “and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?“
There goes one less movie to see this summer. Thanks, Skip!
Wow.
I give it two days max before she issues a half-assed “apology” and claims that her comments were taken out of context somehow (as if that’s possible).
She’s the only person who needs a teleprompter for public speaking more than Obama.
When are these people’s publicists going to teach them to keep their mouths shut? Here’s a tip for Megan’s agent, you may want to explain to your client that the amount of money she gets paid per film is diretly related to ticket sales.
I can understand someone speaking his or her mind and risking offending people, even risking personal income for his or her opinions. What I cannot understand is how some people have no problem profiting from ideas that are anathema to their beliefs, or taking money from people they loathe. If you hate those people don’t star in films that promote their ideals and ask them to not buy tickets, so you don’t profit from a movie that feeds their belief system.
The thing about people like Megan Fox, or the Dixie Chicks, is that no matter what they say, they think no one should have a negative reaction.
And that voting with your wallet is a violation of the First Amendment.
Its almost funny.
I can imagine a Fox producer going: WHAT IN GOD’S NAME WERE YOU F*CKING THINKING?!?!?! WE GOT A MOVIE TO RELEASE!!!
JimmyC
Just my opinion but, the thing about European politics is that really, none of them are conservative. At Hot Air Ed Morrissey notes it’s probably more about punishing the party in power than anything else. Sure on the surface they might share what we consider US conservative ideals (positions on abortion and free markets for instance) they are all still nanny state lovers.
None of them are going to embrace reduction of the size of government, European ‘liberals’ and ‘conservatives’ simply fight over how they are going to direct its power. Which is why we are becoming more European by the day.
Call it Obamium,Skip
Dammit! I wanted to see Transformers! I fit all of the above categories. Megan Fox? No amount of fine-assery is enough to overcome that.
“I fit all of the above categories.”
For what it’s worth, Floyd, I don’t think you’re “super.”
But “fine-assery” is Floyd all over.
Floyd, did ya ever live in a trailer park? When you have, come back with that “I’m white trash” argument.
Hey, I resemble that remark! My parents, the Honorable Mr. and Mrs. Rufus J. Firefly, live in a mobile home park. Now, mind you, they live in a double-wide, so maybe Megan Fox wouldn’t want them destroyed right away.
I’m not trying to offend anyone, for you see, I myself resided in one for 8 years. Thanks to the 2nd wife of whom I never speak.
It looks like none of you art lovers have identified this one yet. Maybe I should have posted one of Floyd’s pansy paintings, featuring men in shirts with puffy sleeves.
Here’s a hint. This statue is in England…
Eduardo Paolocci’s Isaac Newton. But of course.
But of course! Well done, Fritz!
I know a guy named Art.
Dammit. I had hope for Megan Fox but she had to open her mouth, not in a good way, and ruin it. This puts her in the Kate Beckinsdale Just Sit There and Look Pretty Club. On a side note I grew up in a mobile home, axl and all, but have never struck a Bible and am as indifferent to gay people as I am to straight people. So disappointed…bad Megan!!
I am feeling sassy today!
And myself. But I feel much more like a spoiler. Not the automotive type.
Where is Blackhawk? I’m wondering if he knows the new Nazi Zombie mode is coming out for Call of Duty?
Just finished JURASSIC PARK and am now reading 20,000 LEAGUES and Flynn’s SEPARATION OF POWER.
PS: I have recovered from the trauma of ROCKY HORROR.
FIVEPEAT!!! Oh, yeah!
Recent Comments
Kit on Monday Open Thread
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Kit on Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria …
Kit on Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria …
Kit on Cats and dogs, living together, mass hysteria …
And since OBAMA is sort of like God. Here is a video of a group of MSNBC and NEWSWEEK reporters meeting Obama:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owZPspxJ4jw
stop Rufus.org