The only thing better than a good movie is a film review for a bad one. I’ll share my review in the coming days, in the mean time here’s quotes from some of the reviews on Rotten Tomatoes for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.
Michelle Alexandria – Eclipse Magazine.
One of the worst film going experiences I’ve ever had. It’s loud, violent, offensive, crude and I had to put up with a screaming brat. But for some reason I still kind of liked it.
Mike Ward – Richmond.com
I’d rather listen to Mr. Roboto on a loop for 150 minutes than watch Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen again.
Bob Bloom – Journal and Courier
The movie is formulaic and routine, which suits (Michael) Bay’s directorial style. Creativity is anathema to this by-the-numbers cinematic traffic cop.
Joe Morgentsen – Wall Street Journal
Compared to this sequel, the first Transformers, which was released two years ago, ranks right up there with Kant’s Critique of Pure Reason.
Erik Childress - eFilmCritic
This is the single worst film to be released thus far in the summer of 2009 and that’s a whole helluva pile of bad to overcome in achieving that title.
Victoria Alexander – FilmsInReview.com
I hated every 149 minutes. This is so bad it’s immoral. Michael Bay is a time-sucking vampire who will feast off your lost time. This is why the movie is so long.
James Rocchi – MSN Movies
The best thing about “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is that it’s perhaps the funniest movie of the year … “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen” is not as bad as “Transformers”; somehow, in the face of long odds, it is actually worse.
Colin Covert – Minneapolis Star Tribune
I’ve just spent 2 1/2 hours watching a movie and another hour thinking about what I saw and I have no earthly idea what Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is about.
Nell Minnow – Belieftnet
When the robots give a better performance than the humans, we have a problem.
Garth Franklin – Dark Horizons
Bay’s most unrestrained and ridiculous to date. The male teenage cinematic equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hooker’s ass.
May update with some more later.
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Sigh, now I’m thinking I should see it again just to figure out why I didn’t hate it the first time.
Just remember, film critics are like piranha. They sense blood in the water, they swarm. Critics hated “It’s a Wonderful Life” for god’s sake.
Actually, when I think back on it there were plenty of things that could have been done differently. But what with all the alien robots and cool military toys and explosions I just didn’t care at the moment. I still don’t think I care.
Well, yeah, but did any of these reviewers mention that Cheap Trick does the soundtrack? That’s got to be worth something, right?
[blinking rapidly]
I apologize for my brother ‘Bot. A Cheap Trick soundtrack on a Michael Bay ‘sploshion fest is like a fine wine with McDonalds— it ain’t that the wine isn’t great, it’s the decision to match ‘em up in the first place.
So no. It’s not worth it…
Oh come now! I never gave one tenth of a crap about the show – not even when they did the GI Joe crossovers in the later seasons – and when it was finally cancelled my first reaction was “Why now? Why not five years ago?” I solidly rate the show at least three notches below The Adventures of Teddy Ruxpin (Though to be fair, that was an underrated show).
Even so, I man not immune to the charms of the onetime-biggest-name-in-rock reduced to singing “Transformers/robots in disguise/transformers/more than meets the eye.”
Check it out all ye lesser men and weep for the ravages of time http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSgnhCmwIfo
(but no, seriously, to my shame, I kinda’ dig the trick song. really)
That doesn’t match the indignity of the 1986 cartoon version. That was Orson Welles’ last movie.
Yeah, that was a sad and ignominious end for a man who in his prime strode the cinematic world like unto a minor god. But to be fair, Orson was really, really good in The Transformers: The Movie.
Great! I’ll look forward to the RiffTrax!